Office drawer lunch

This is what happens when you don't pack a lunch. You end up digging for scraps in your desk drawers.

Afternoon pick me up

Almonds, you are not delicious.  Iced Skinny vanilla latte however, perfection.



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Pictures on here

I find it terribly annoying that my pictures

a) come out small
b) look graininy if I enlarge them

I have never had this issue with uploading to Blogger before, so what the heck gives?

When I upload and post from my computer no problem just photos from my phone.  And they are good, clear nice photos.

SIGH.

For now, until I figure out the why....I will live with it. Unhappily.

Food Stuff

Water, because I have to, see goals.

 Skinny Vannilla latte, because I HAVE to, see sanity in general.

And an apple because, apples are delicious, and filling without high calories, but mostly because I woke up too late to make something more substantial.

For lunch I had a grilled veggie panini at Jugo Juice (497 calories) and  Grande Americano with room (FOR CREAM).

So Far

I am doing a terrible job with this whole turn over a new leaf business.  It is 2:50am and I am still awake, laying on the couch, watching One Tree Hill----

.....as an aside, WHY am I watching OTH?  Its not even a good show.  I am embarrassed for myself, and my late night Netflix choices. Honestly I think it is because good or bad, right or wrong, when I start something I have to see it through, and I started watching this show months ago and I am finally, FINALLY on the homestretch season 9 episode 2, and from the looks of it there are only 13 episodes, probably because it had finally gone too far and any loyal visitors had lost all confidence in the writers.  Or perhaps considering the timing it was during the writers strike that ended TV for half a season.  Regardless, I have suffered through, 8 season with 23 episodes each, and here I am almost done, on the eve of :a changing day in my life" which likely involves a whole lot less netflix watching...and I just want to get it over with. Literally, I am now watching not for enjoyment but as means to an end.

I DIGRESS.

Part of the new plan involves going to bed early, getting up early, getting enough sleep, and a better more consistant routine.

Its 2:59am and I need to be up getting ready for work, and getting two boys out the door to summer camp....by 7:15am.  If I fall asleep in the next 45 seconds I can get three glorious hours of sleep.  While this is not really new to me, getting by on limited sleep; planning breakfast, and lunch, and packing work out clothing for a lunch time fitness session, in addition to the rest of the normal morning routine is new.

I will NOT be DETERRED. 

Its happening.

 This totally counts.

 Bring it Wednesday.

S.M.A.R.T.

I have done some investigative research into other blogs so I would know what to do, and how to get started so I think I have a pretty good idea.

First things first, what do I want?

I should set some goals, I should make a plan, something small to start, manageable.

And I should post them here, because that is what is going to keep me accountable. 

What do I want?

WHAT DO I WANT!

The obvious answer;  To be skinny, and beautiful, tomorrow.  

Here is where my business speak comes into the picture.

Goal setting 101: make SMART goals

Ok.

July 17th - July 31st (Two Weeks)

In the next two weeks:

1. I will walk 5 km/day
2. I will drink 8 bottles of water
3. I will weight myself every Tuesday
4. I will track all food with My Fitness Pal
5. I will work out at the gym or home 6 times

So tonight is my last night, I have a pantry full of snacks, that means I have to eat them all tonight in preparation. Or I could toss them all, be resposible and hit up the grocery store to make sure I have proper healthy options in my house to make tomorrow easier. 

I could do that.

I should do that.

I WILL do that?

Starting Somewhere

A weightloss blog.  Everybody’s doing it, and I am a bit of a joiner so why not? 

I am fat. 

And, I don't want to be.  I never used to be, although when I think back I have always felt fat because no matter what there was always someone skinnier. (the old grass is greener phenomenon) I am curvy, and seriously busty, and I always wanted to be one of those super thin girls you see in the movies, or in music videos, or on the street, or in my building, or at the pool, or in the grocery store, or in line ahead of me at the post office, or sitting across from me at the hair salon….

I live a blessed life. I have an amazing husband and two great kids.  I have a wonderful supportive family, and group of friends.  My job pays very well, and I do something I love.  So, I am happy.  Fat and happy. My goal is to be happy, now with less fat.

I have done it before, I lost almost 100lbs most of it gained through pregnancy and an unhappy marriage and lost when I realized I was in an unhappy marriage and it was time to get out.  That when I started, but the motivation at the time was different, I was going to be single and back on the market so I better bring it.

So I left my husband. I worked hard, and I was active, and social, and I ate better and worked out.  I went from 237lbs to 145lbs in a year and 4 months.  I was happy and healthy.  Then I met my current husband.  who is amazing, and loving, and hilarious, and good, and all of the things I want....and I relaxed, and I enjoyed time with him, and we dated, and slowly, the gym was less of a priority, and eating healthy was less of a priority, I live in a world of "just this once", and "start again Monday".  Instead of going to the gym, I went to the movies, and ate all of the popcorn, and all of the candy, and got a diet coke, BECAUSE I AM FAT and did not want to consume the empty calories.  Instead of rejoining the next season of soccer, and dodgeball, I got cable and PVR and Netflix.  Instead of watching what I ate…

I didn't.

And now, I am happily married, and have a wonderful life, but I weigh 190lbs, which does not make me happy at all.  

It's time to make a change. 

A real one.

FOR REAL. 

I am amazing at starting on a Monday and regressing on Wednesday.  I am also good at researching the easy way out and giving that a try. 

Obviously that is not working for me, and history has proven I can do this the right way, so that’s what I am going to do.  And I am going to start on a Tuesday, at 4 in the afternoon just to shake things up. 

Besides, I already drove to work instead of walked, skipped breakfast, drank only three bottles of water, and ate pad thai for lunch, so....the first three quarters of my day are pretty much shot.