Starting Somewhere

A weightloss blog.  Everybody’s doing it, and I am a bit of a joiner so why not? 

I am fat. 

And, I don't want to be.  I never used to be, although when I think back I have always felt fat because no matter what there was always someone skinnier. (the old grass is greener phenomenon) I am curvy, and seriously busty, and I always wanted to be one of those super thin girls you see in the movies, or in music videos, or on the street, or in my building, or at the pool, or in the grocery store, or in line ahead of me at the post office, or sitting across from me at the hair salon….

I live a blessed life. I have an amazing husband and two great kids.  I have a wonderful supportive family, and group of friends.  My job pays very well, and I do something I love.  So, I am happy.  Fat and happy. My goal is to be happy, now with less fat.

I have done it before, I lost almost 100lbs most of it gained through pregnancy and an unhappy marriage and lost when I realized I was in an unhappy marriage and it was time to get out.  That when I started, but the motivation at the time was different, I was going to be single and back on the market so I better bring it.

So I left my husband. I worked hard, and I was active, and social, and I ate better and worked out.  I went from 237lbs to 145lbs in a year and 4 months.  I was happy and healthy.  Then I met my current husband.  who is amazing, and loving, and hilarious, and good, and all of the things I want....and I relaxed, and I enjoyed time with him, and we dated, and slowly, the gym was less of a priority, and eating healthy was less of a priority, I live in a world of "just this once", and "start again Monday".  Instead of going to the gym, I went to the movies, and ate all of the popcorn, and all of the candy, and got a diet coke, BECAUSE I AM FAT and did not want to consume the empty calories.  Instead of rejoining the next season of soccer, and dodgeball, I got cable and PVR and Netflix.  Instead of watching what I ate…

I didn't.

And now, I am happily married, and have a wonderful life, but I weigh 190lbs, which does not make me happy at all.  

It's time to make a change. 

A real one.

FOR REAL. 

I am amazing at starting on a Monday and regressing on Wednesday.  I am also good at researching the easy way out and giving that a try. 

Obviously that is not working for me, and history has proven I can do this the right way, so that’s what I am going to do.  And I am going to start on a Tuesday, at 4 in the afternoon just to shake things up. 

Besides, I already drove to work instead of walked, skipped breakfast, drank only three bottles of water, and ate pad thai for lunch, so....the first three quarters of my day are pretty much shot.